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エイミー・カディ No.11

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No.11

So when I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me, “I don’t — It feels fake.” Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. I don’t — It’s not me. I don’t want to get there and then still feel like a fraud. I don’t want to feel like an impostor. I don’t want to get there only to feel like I’m not supposed to be here. And that really resonated with me, because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor and feeling like I’m not supposed to be here.

When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times. I was thrown from the car. And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward, and I had been withdrawn from college, and I learned that my IQ had dropped by two standard deviations, which was very traumatic. I knew my IQ because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. So I’m taken out of college, I keep trying to go back. They say, “You’re not going to finish college. Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but that’s not going to work out for you.” So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, there’s nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that. So I felt entirely powerless. I worked and worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked.

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So when I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me, “I don’t — It feels fake.” Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. I don’t — It’s not me. I don’t want to get there and then still feel like a fraud. I don’t want to feel like an impostor. I don’t want to get there only to feel like I’m not supposed to be here. And that really resonated with me, because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor and feeling like I’m not supposed to be here.

When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times. I was thrown from the car. And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward, and I had been withdrawn from college, and I learned that my IQ had dropped by two standard deviations, which was very traumatic. I knew my IQ because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. So I’m taken out of college, I keep trying to go back. They say, “You’re not going to finish college. Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but that’s not going to work out for you.” So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, there’s nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that. So I felt entirely powerless. I worked and worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked.

outcome: n. 結果、成果、結末
fake: n. ふり、装い、偽物、やらせ、いかさま
fake: vt. 〜のふりをする、を装う、をでっち上げる
fraud: n.詐欺、ペテン、いかさま
impostor: n. = imposter(他人になりすます)詐欺師、ペテン師
be supposed to ~ : 〜しても良い、〜することが許されている
resonate with ~: 〜に共感を呼び起こす、反響する
car accident : 自動車事故
be thrown out of a car: 車から投げ出される
head injury: 頭部外傷[損傷]
rehab ward: リハビリ病棟(rehabは rehabilitation「リハビリテーション」のこと)
withdraw: vt. (参加や加入を)やめさせる、身を引かせる、(活動などから)退かせる、退却させる
IQ: = intelligence quotient 知能指数
standard deviation: 標準偏差
traumatic: a. 心的外傷を与える、深い心の傷として残る、トラウマの、ショッキングな
identify: vt. 確認する、同定する、明確にする
gifted: a. (天賦の)才能のある、優れた
as: prep. 〜の時に
as a child: 子供のときに
take — out of ~: —を〜から取る、外す
struggle: vi. 格闘する、もがく、あがく、(困難などと)闘う
smart: a. 利口な、賢い、頭の回転が速い
entirely: adv. 完全に、まったく;もっぱら、ひたすら
work: vi. (忍耐強く・絶えず)努力する、専念する;勉強する
get lucky: 運良く成功する

解説

標準偏差については以下のサイトを参考。
→『平均と標準偏差』 

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