No.12
Eventually I graduated from college. It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske, to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here. I am an impostor. And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people. That’s it. I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, “I’m quitting.” She was like, “You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and you’re staying. You’re going to stay, and this is what you’re going to do. You are going to fake it. You’re going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. You’re just going to do it and do it and do it, even if you’re terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience, until you have this moment where you say, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'” So that’s what I did. Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, I’m at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, I’m at Harvard, I’m not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, “Not supposed to be here. Not supposed to be here.”
ボキャブラリー
Eventually I graduated from college. It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske, to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here. I am an impostor. And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people. That’s it. I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, “I’m quitting.” She was like, “You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and you’re staying. You’re going to stay, and this is what you’re going to do. You are going to fake it. You’re going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. You’re just going to do it and do it and do it, even if you’re terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience, until you have this moment where you say, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'” So that’s what I did. Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, I’m at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, I’m at Harvard, I’m not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, “Not supposed to be here. Not supposed to be here.”
graduate from: 〜を卒業する
peer: n. 仲間、同僚、同級生、クラスメート、友人、同輩
convince A to do: vt. A(人)に〜するように説得する、説得して〜させる
angel: n. 天使、天使のような人、とても優しい人、守護神
adviser: ｟米｠(大学の)指導教官; (新入生)担当教員.
take on: 迎い入れる、雇い入れる、採用する、（生徒などを）とる、引き受ける
end up : 結局[最後には]〜になる、〜で終わる、最後は〜に落ちつく[行き着く]
Princeton: アメリカ、ニュージャージー州にある学術都市（ここではプリンストン大学のこと）
be not supposed to ~: 〜してはいけないことになっている、〜することにはなっていない
impostor: n. ペテン師、かたり、詐欺師、身分詐称者
That’s it.:｟話｠(話の最後で)以上です、それで全部[おしまい]です、いいぞ、その調子 (!励まし正しい方法であることなどを表す)、 (そう)それだ (探し物を発見したり, 何かがわかったときに用いる) 、そうです, その通り(exactly) (相手への同意, 賛意を表す) 、そこが問題なんだ (itに強勢を置く)
quit: vi. やめる、中止する；去る
gamble: n. 賭け、賭け事、ギャンブル
take a gamble on ~: 〜に一か八かの賭けをする
fake: vt. 〜のふりをする」、装う
terrify: vt. 〜をおびえさせる、ひどくこわがらせる
paralyze: vt. 〜を麻痺させる、しびれさせる、〜を無力にする
out-of-body: a. 自分の肉体を離れた、体外離脱の、超現実的な
Oh my gosh: 信じられない、まあ、あれ、えっ、しまった、ヒャー（goshはGodの婉曲表現）
grad school: 大学院＝graduate school
Northwestern: ノースウエスタン大学
Harvard: ハーバード大学
for a long time: 長い間
解説
Susan Fiske: スーザン・フィスクについてはこちら→http://psych.princeton.edu/~psych/psychology/research/fiske/index.php
私たちの社会は、価値を自分の外に探そうとする傾向があります。
自分の外に探すと、どうしても自分と他人の差に目が向きます。つまり、自分が持っていて他人が持っていないもの、自分が持っていなくて他人が持っているもの。
エイミー・カディさんのように、もともとは平均以上の人は自分が持っていて他人が持っていないものを見て優越感を持ちます。そして、事故後は自分がかつて持っていたものと、今持っていないものを比較して悲しみます。
ほとんどの人は自分の持っているものを見ずに、自分に足りないものばかりを見ています。人はこのような見方では決して幸せではありません。
自分に目を向け、持っているものを感謝できること、人が持っているものを褒められること、これが幸せな在り方ですね。